life... it is what it is

Well, Nathan went back to school this week which has left me with a lot of time to clean, do what I want, and think. Now, you can only do so much cleaning before you don't want to do any more. The what I want wont take place til Wednesday (wedding dress shopping) and then it comes to the thinking. I really want to get a part time job with school, I dont know what I would do but I really like helping people. Its hard to find a place that has a good attitude about helping people. Sometimes I feel like people think that it is something they have to do, they do not want to do it, they just have to. What frustrates me is that these are people too..

Another thing I have been thinking about is marriage, what's it going to be like? Will Nate and I's wedding go off with out a hitch? or will something go wrong like always go wrong. How in the world are we ever going to pay for it. What have I forgotten about that we still need to do. I know that I shouldnt worry that much about it.. its still 290 days away.

Then I start to think about something that is comming sooner... graduation.. .what am I going to do with myself after graduation, am I going to be able to get a job?

Before all of that, I have to think about myslef.... Listen to "A More Beautiful You" By Jonny Diaz.... This song is great and its great for some one who doesnt think highly of herself. Sometimes I think so much about others that I almost forget about myslef. I dont know how to fix this

For that matter, I don't know how to fix much that is going on with my life...

Only Tuesday

Well Today is just another great fun tuesday... I get to turn in much needed papers that needed to be done and i was up late doing. Over this summer, all this list that I really only accomplished almost none of it. Well did as about half of it.

Nate and I are getting married though, we have been able to pick out a place and are putting the down payment on it today! All we need to do is figure out how to pay for the rest. Wedding for some reason are so expensive... ugh.

Other then that I am really excited for Friday, Nate and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary! I remember the day we met, at AWANA camp, I asked some girl who he was cause I didnt know him. From there we ended up on the same team! After being friends for a while we fell in love! from there... well, now we are engaged... Love is a beautiful, difficult, and wonderful thing. Unfortunatly he has to go back to school a week from tomorrow.

Something I have learned this summer is compassion. I have learned that everyone deserves a fighting chance and to be happy. Now I know people dont agreee with me, but imagine living a day in someone elses shoe?