update on life

Ok.. I figured that I should put an update of my life since september was the last time I did this. life has been going well. It has its ups and downs but that is to be expected.
This semester is almost over which is awesome. I'm starting to develop this thing called senioritis.. which is why I am on here blogging instead of writing the papers i need to be doing. I have learned a lot this semester. I think one of the most important things that I learned is that as a society we need are constantly looking for the things that are big and huge and wanting to change the world all at one time, by ourselves. I have come to realize though work and Shane Claborn that that is not the best way. I know that I cannot change the lives of my residents... I dont consider that my job. my job is to empower them to change their own lives. I can says as much as I want but if they do not want to change then they wont. I have found that something that I can do is love them, or show them love. Ive seen this more and more lately... One of my residents the other day just wanted someone to be proud of her. I didnt know this at the time, but I had been telling her how proud I have been of her for a long time. Shes working, raising her child, getting back on her feet of course Im proud of her. She just doesnt get to hear it. After I spent some time with her the other day (I got to hold her little one and help her decorate her Christmas tree) she sat down and told me all of this and how she liked having to talk to. She knows Im her resident manager but yet she still wants to tell me that shes struggling. the other thing I have learned lately is that what I wanted to put into place at KD is really starting to work. When I started, I really wanted to build a community. I really did not think that it was working until the other day. One of my resident had to go to the hospital (shes ok now). While I was trying to take care of her kids before they took her to the hospital, a couple of my other residents came over to see if they could help. then they went down to check on her when she got home. They are also working together to see what they can do for each other to make Christmas special. It has been awesome seeing them trying to help each other out and supporting one another. I love it.
One thing I do ask anyone who reads this for is prayer. Things are stressful currently, txt, email, or shoot me a message and I'll explain.
Just remember that God is amazing and he is still working. I know he is in me.... Now.. time for some hw....

From the words of Mother Teresa to today's world

I am in this book discussion at Geneva. It's on the Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne... While reading this book (which I recommend reading) I ran across a quote that convicted me. Shane had been talking about his trip to Calcutta (where Mother Teresa lived) and visited The Home for the Destitute and dying. In this section of this book, he used some really great quotes. (Both of these are by Mother Teresa) First... "We are called not to be successful, but to be faithful." How many of us are constantly striving towards success and forgetting what God really wants us to do? I think that we can be successful and be faithful, but we really need to be faithful before the other. The other one really spoke to my heart... " We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing them." I love this! I really think that, even me, tries to change the world, or make this big mark on the world. Not that I am saying not to strive to do great things... but do we all need to be doing these huge things? It made me think of the one night I went to sit with one of my residents... to me it was no big deal. I just went down and did my job. It was something little that showed that I cared for them and I was here if they needed me. To this resident, it meant the world. I dont know if that is going something little or not, but it is still doing something. I did it with love. Christianity is about loving one another. Jesus did not flaunt himself around healing people, he knew that they would die eventually, but he did it to show love. Jesus touched the ones with leprosy. He touched them. Do we reach out and touch others? Who really knows that when we were out and about we smile at someone or touch them in some way.... What if that is Jesus???? I guess what I am trying to say is go out and smile at someone... "Just [do] small things with great love"

life... it is what it is

Well, Nathan went back to school this week which has left me with a lot of time to clean, do what I want, and think. Now, you can only do so much cleaning before you don't want to do any more. The what I want wont take place til Wednesday (wedding dress shopping) and then it comes to the thinking. I really want to get a part time job with school, I dont know what I would do but I really like helping people. Its hard to find a place that has a good attitude about helping people. Sometimes I feel like people think that it is something they have to do, they do not want to do it, they just have to. What frustrates me is that these are people too..

Another thing I have been thinking about is marriage, what's it going to be like? Will Nate and I's wedding go off with out a hitch? or will something go wrong like always go wrong. How in the world are we ever going to pay for it. What have I forgotten about that we still need to do. I know that I shouldnt worry that much about it.. its still 290 days away.

Then I start to think about something that is comming sooner... graduation.. .what am I going to do with myself after graduation, am I going to be able to get a job?

Before all of that, I have to think about myslef.... Listen to "A More Beautiful You" By Jonny Diaz.... This song is great and its great for some one who doesnt think highly of herself. Sometimes I think so much about others that I almost forget about myslef. I dont know how to fix this

For that matter, I don't know how to fix much that is going on with my life...

Only Tuesday

Well Today is just another great fun tuesday... I get to turn in much needed papers that needed to be done and i was up late doing. Over this summer, all this list that I really only accomplished almost none of it. Well did as about half of it.

Nate and I are getting married though, we have been able to pick out a place and are putting the down payment on it today! All we need to do is figure out how to pay for the rest. Wedding for some reason are so expensive... ugh.

Other then that I am really excited for Friday, Nate and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary! I remember the day we met, at AWANA camp, I asked some girl who he was cause I didnt know him. From there we ended up on the same team! After being friends for a while we fell in love! from there... well, now we are engaged... Love is a beautiful, difficult, and wonderful thing. Unfortunatly he has to go back to school a week from tomorrow.

Something I have learned this summer is compassion. I have learned that everyone deserves a fighting chance and to be happy. Now I know people dont agreee with me, but imagine living a day in someone elses shoe?

The Beginning of Summer

Well, Since I last wrote, school has ended and I have gotten my grades they were actually pretty good. This summer will be crazy and nuts for me. I have so many things that I want to do but I also have to work 2 jobs and have an intersnhip. Sometimes i wonder why I am doing this to myself. Some exciting things are happening this summer though. My brother is graduating from high school and my sister is learning how to drive! Among those, some of my friends are getting married and a couple are even having babies!!!! actually... Amy already did.....
Here's what I want to do this summer
1. See all my friends new babies
2. go to kennywood
3. go to marine
4. go to mconnals mill (sp????)
5. spend as much time with nate as I can
6. go to my brother graduation and grad party
7. pass my class
8. meet new people
9. HAVE FUN
10. Go to my friends weddings
11. work as much as I can to earn as much as I can

well will see I guess!

Just another day

Well, it is finally the home stretch of this school year. Only 3 weeks left, then it is finally time for summer, home, softball, and being able to see Nathan. One thing that has been really hard for me lately is the amount of stress that has begun to accumulate.... Right now, with working and school and other things. What it comes down to is that I really need to get my life in order. How are we supposed to please everyone who is expecting it? I guess that I need to stop worrying about that and fully relay on God. I am just really struggling to understand why he is doing things that he is doing.

Other then that life has been great! and I actually have 2 days off next weekend and get to spend time with Nate... its a miracle that we both do not have things to do...

Time to de-stress before the week begins

Just the beginning

Well today is my first day of this so we will see where it goes.... Going to school at Geneva had taught me a lot of interesting thing but at the same time, I am ready to be done. I have a wonderful boyfriend Nathan who gets to come home today and I am really excited... Oh and today I got my internship!!!!!! More tmrw